The Four Reasons Why Women Don’t Have Orgasms
Written by rhythmraveradio on June 25, 2015
Here is a very interesting article published on the Huffingtonpost by Pamela Madsen, Sexuality and Relationship Coach For Women, Author, Founder, Back to The Body: Sensuous Retreats For Women.
What is stopping countless women from experiencing the pleasure of orgasm? And is the new female Viagra the answer?
Before you pop your first pill, ask yourself this: When was the last time during a sexual encounter that you were simply focused on being in the moment of sexual expression? That amazing moment where you stop worrying about whether you should be giving or receiving, or what should happen next, or how you look, or if you will “get somewhere”?
I work primary with women around their relationship to their sexuality and their bodies. I literally help women find their pleasure in their bodies, expand their pleasure potential and for some women I help them discover orgasm for the first time.
The reasons why women hold themselves back from receiving pleasure in their bodies and having orgasm are common and widespread. And women can open up to pleasure and change their relationship to their bodies and their sexuality at any age.
Four Common Reasons Why Women Don’t Have Orgasms
1. Women worry about time.
Stop watching the clock — sex is not about who finishes first. Many women are worried that they “take too long” and are being selfish, or that they should be “doing” rather than receiving pleasure.
It’s completely common for women to actually stop themselves from experiencing pleasure because it takes time and they go into self-ridicule and self-judgment mode. There is nothing like focusing on whether or not you are “taking too long” and “being selfish” or “greedy” to stop a delicious orgasm. Women sometimes take a little longer to relax, open and receive pleasure in their bodies. Orgasms can take time and the best orgasms are all about the build up. Let it happen! Aren’t you worth the time? Give yourself permission to have pleasure in your life. You are not greedy to want multiple orgasms, or frankly ANY orgasm. Isn’t it time to raise your pleasure ceiling and make space for them to happen? Forget the clock. Sex doesn’t have a time limit.
2. Women have a hard time receiving pleasure.
Most women are really good at doing for others. I talk to countless women who want me to teach them how to “give” pleasure to their partners. When we go deeper, I find out that the biggest problem is that they don’t know how to receive pleasure! Women are conditioned to give. It’s a radical idea for many women to simply allow pleasure into their own bodies and completely experience that. This can be the hardest thing for many women to do and if you can’t fully receive — it can be nearly impossible to let go and have an orgasm.
You deserve pleasure and happiness. You can give it to yourself and/or your partner may really want to offer it to you. Sometimes, we have to literally “take” pleasure and claim it for ourselves. Take the time to stop giving and open to the pleasure of receiving. Remember, your partner wants to give you something beautiful. Savor and enjoy the gift.
3. Women don’t know how.
Many women really don’t know how to have an orgasm.