Comedian Loni Love stated this past week on her talk show The Real, that black men in America cannot stay faithful in relationships due to their, in her words, being obsessed with money and power. The comment came up on the show regarding Joe Budden’s opinion regarding comedian Kevin Hart’s infidelity issues, and Loni interjected stating that “I don’t speak for the Black community by I do think that a lot of Black men, they really don’t know how to have true, faithful relationships,” she said. “They think because they have money, they have power, that they can treat women any kind of way
After another co-host mentioned that all men of other races cheat too, Loni then went on to say “No, it’s not across the board because what is happening is that we are still dealing with the point of slavery,” Loni continued. “And we are descendants of slavery and because our families were broken up, we still do not have an idea of how to have togetherness because our families were broken up.”
When I analyzed in context what Loni expounded, I realized that this was a backhanded response to a clear issue with men in general. To blame black men’s inability to maintain a healthy relationship with his mate due to these reasons is extraordinarily inaccurate. Singling out one race for cheating due to a lust for money and power makes the real culprits of infidelity avoid culpability. Loni apparently is looking through life and love through a pair of race baiting glasses. How can one seriously defend such a ridiculous claim? One would suspect that Loni has had bad experiences in the past with black men and is seeking to justify her claims because of it.
Yes, black men have suffered the unfathomable depths of slavery, and was separated from the family structure that they were expected to uphold without condition. Yes, black men have been on the short stick when it comes to economic power and has struggled to make ends meet for hundreds of years. But to lay the blame of infidelity at the feet of black men exclusively is not only irresponsible but dangerous. Men have always sought the objective of domineering and conquering. Collectively all men, from Mansa Musa to Alexander the Great and beyond, have sought riches and glory, but one his greatest prizes was the attention and affection of women. Many men have callously objectified and cheated on women for thousands of years. Some could easily say that to a certain degree, women equally share in this equation. Why do certain women attach themselves to men who have track records of unfaithfulness?
Many black males are taken off the chessboard due to not only economic hardships, but also to incarceration, death and living a ‘down-low’ lifestyle. When in comparison to other races, black men carry and exceptional weight to carry. But this should not reflect the totality of black males, only a small fraction of the population. The entertainment business through different genres of music through Hip Hop and Rock & Roll especially, have fostered the get rich and die trying lifestyle for men to look up too and emulate. Black men have been targeted and promoted to live life in excess, even without having the actual financial security as their counterparts. This drives certain men to seek the dominance of multiple women to compensate for the obvious lack of power within their own lives and communities. However, to communicate to the masses that only black males suffer from these deficits is highly deceptive. Black people only make up roughly 14% of the American population, so the numbers are skewed unportioned. What the real question should have been asked was why men cheat in general. I suspect that because Loni is in an interracial relationship, her rationale for her generalization is tainted.